Hurricane Sloppy Seconds

Having to deal with the sloppy seconds of a hurricane is a bummer. It’s a bummer because at least if you’re in the immediate strike zone, you get to rush around panicking and boarding things up and carefully selecting which possessions to preserve and completely indulging the kind of delicious pre-disaster hysteria that’s generally verboten except in times of impending catastrophe. But if you’re hundreds of miles away from where the storm hit, you don’t get any of that. Instead, you get to slog around in a torrential downpour for 48 straight hours. It’s basically like getting hurt in a fight without being allowed to do all the “You wanna go?! You wanna go?! I’ll fight you right here!” that makes a black eye the badge of honor that it is. Also a bummer: When a hurricane that has the same name as you turns out to be weak sauce.

Tags: black eyes, hurricanes