People who drink coffee at the gym are a bummer. They’re a bummer because it is not polite to make other gym-goers worry that when the combination of caffeine and adrenaline makes your heart burst out of your chest, they’re going to have to field it like a shortstop trying to get a glove on a swift-moving grounder. Sure beats bunting unbummer: Yeah, the guy’s dead, but impressive base hit nonetheless.
Poor water fountain etiquette is a bummer. You would think everyone in the world was familiar with the “One, Two, Three, Done” rule, given that it was basically the alpha and omega in elementary school, but you’d be wrong. Some people have no regard for the socially accepted time limit imposed on public water fountain use, and getting stuck behind one sucks because as they’re taking their sweet time lapping up delicious water like a camel stocking up for a trip across the Sahara, you’re back there fuming and thinking “IF SHE DOESN’T MOVE RIGHT NOW I AM GOING TO STICK MY FOOT SO FAR UP HER ASS SHE PUKES UP A NIKE.” On the other hand, it’s a good way to check out your anger levels to see if you might be listening to too much G-Unit. Also a bummer: Lukewarm water fountain on a hot day. Childhood terror bummer: Repeat lectures about how if you put your mouth on the water fountain, you will die.
Waiting for a treadmill at the gym is a bummer. It’s a bummer because working out is, in itself, a form of torture akin to The Pit and the Pendulum. Waiting in any line sucks, but it’s not so bad if there’s some kind of reward at the end, like a neat ride if you’re into that (get born btw, rides are for babies) or some sweet concert tickets. But standing there while Stretch Pants Guy finishes his air punching/inclined walking routine only to be able to bust your ass for 40 minutes while watching reruns of Ellen in closed captioning seriously burns. Also a bummer: Settling for the elliptical trainer. Is it even possible to break a sweat on one of those? Childhood unbummer: the hilarity of your friend’s parents’ Nordic Track
