April Fool’s Day

April Fool’s Day is a bummer. Sike! April Fool’s Day is the best. Pranks rule forever, no takebacks. You’re probably like “Why are you wasting Interspace (that means space on the Internet, philistine) on the biggest doye of the century?” and the answer is “Because fuck you, that’s why. You’re not the boss of the Internet.” No, J/K again! This post is just an excuse to publicly tell the story about how one April Fool’s Day T.S. got up early and emptied out the shampoo and refilled the bottle with glue and managed to get both Erin and Molly! Haha! Suckers! Hilarious insult unbummer: Calling someone a fool. Try it, you’ll see. B-Movie bummer (or unbummer, depending on how you feel about teen slash flicks): I Know What You Did Last April Fool’s Day (see pic).

Sitting On A Joke

Sitting on a joke is a bummer. Thinking of a good joke and then having to sit on it because either A) you’re by yourself (riffing when no one is listening is the same as dancing like no one is watching, i.e. stupid) or B) the right situation for its use has not yet arisen is a total bummer, because sometimes you have to go months or even years before you get to take that check to the bank and cash it. Before you know it, you’re sitting on such a mountain of laughs that you basically have to hire a sherpa who, when you’re at a party and someone is acting really erratic, will lean over and go “I believe the one you’re looking for is ‘Who brought Amy Bi-Poehler?’”